Re: xxx more chance I am thinking this isn't the man I believed it was. The man I know would also know that another chance is impossible at this point. I have left the state, I am no longer in Phoenix. As for him, I don't believe he will ever leave Phoenix; much less the pride rock he lives under. He won't be riding in on a white horse. This isn't the movies this is life. I get this, and it was part of the reason I left the state. His excuses in life won't allow him to move forward or to move on. They say if you want something bad enough you will make it happen. He never desired "us" bad enough to make it happen. Nothing has changed there. I still see a scared little boy, full of excuses as to why he let a life of promise slip right through his hands. Not much "man" in him to speak of, he lets fear rule his life. He is broken, married women looking for fun Stevens Point Bullhead City al single ladies for affaire lost and I don't believe I can fix him or that he has the streanth to ever provide stablity or commitment. I guess it kind of runs in his family line, I guess you could say. I can't see him growing a set of balls now. No, I am fairly convinced he will live in the location of "what if" for the rest of his life. You see that has been my own self distructive pattern. I know I am a beautiful woman full of passion. I will fight to have, maintain and keep love alive. His actions are counter productive. In retrospect he fights to damage that. Inare you home alone today want to get lunch words, big girls need Colorado Springs you actions and lack of belief. I am where I need to be and he is right where he should be. For everything in life there is a reason. He let me go a long time ago. He just realized that he won't find better because it doesn't exist for him. Every once in a while that smacks him in the face like a ton of bricks but he, ultimately, will make the choice to let me go completely and continue to live in "what if" You see I have been here before its what landed me in Arizona in the first place. A man that loved me but didn't know what he truly had until I put that distance between us to stop the distructive pattern. He never got over me - from the rumor mill and words flying around but then it's because no matter what life throws my way I remain true. I gave all. Finding another who can or will at this point in life who isn't to damaged to break down that wall - that will put forth the effort I do, well it's as rare as finding a needle in a haystack. Every man in my past has tried to find a way back due to this - I just rebuild the wall and refuse to let it down again. I believe in leaving the past in the past. If it is him - no more words - actions are all that is left now. Your actions determine your fate life hands you gifts it can't cherish and treasure them for you too. You want it, prove it. Quit speaking of promises of things you never intend on fulfilling. Drop the bottle and pick up your man panties. It is YOUR life. Your the only xxx who can live it and make the choice to be happy. Putting it off until you are ready, life doesn't work that way. Chances pass you by. This xxx has almost passed. Once I entertain letting another man, who is worthy in, that door/window will close just as it has for every man in my past. I do love you, but sometimes love isn't enough. I hope you find the needle in the haystack, again. I hope life hands you a second chance. I am someone else's needle to find now. You made sure of that.