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Looking for a fuller figured women for NSA fun. Don't be shy, there's a cute, interesting guy waiting for you tonight I have no plans tonight and was wondering if there was an adventurous lady out there that would let me take her out for a drink this evening. Any takers? Looking for a skinny girl who isn't a bitch Ok let's get the weight requirement out of the way right away. I like skinny girls. If you're over x lbs., it's just not going to work. Next, you can't be a smoker. Nothing worse than kissing a smoker with fish breath. If you are trying to quit or wearing the patch, I will make an exception. You can't have . I'm not looking for a single mom who needs a babysitter. If you're a flakey bitch, FUCK OFF. IMMEDIATELY. I hate flakey bitches. Those are all my major requirements. ============================= If you're active and like moving around, hiking, playing tennis (or willing to learn), etc. that's great because I'm an athletic guy. I'm also tall, so if you need anything off the top shelf in the supermarket, I can probably reach it. I don't mind if you about things. I actually think it's cute sometimes. But acting like a man is NOT CUTE. In fact it's fucking annoying as hell which is why I hate x % of American women. They try to be the boss. I'm the motherfucking boss-- I'm the guy. You're the girl. If you are some raging fucking feminazi, you can fuck off and die. Hopefully you will get hit by a slow moving tractor and your bones will get crushed, and I'll put a cup near your eyeballs so when the humor squirts out, I'll mix it with Coconut milk and have myself a Crushed Cunt Creme (it's a new drink I just invented) and get drunk off of your agony. So remember: acting like a woman = very good. Acting like a man = butch dyke annoying lesbian feminazi who needs to die a slow painful death. Oh forgot. You should LOVE sex. If you don't love sex, you can also FUCK OFF. There will be sex everywhere. Sex in the jacuzzi. Sex on the beach under blankets. Sex against kitchen counters. Sex on your grandma's coffin. Sex in the car (including road head.) Sex against buildings. Sex against doors. Sex in the shower. Sex in the morning. Sex at night. Sex during and after fights. Sex with green eggs . Sex in your mouth. Some people will define their relationships by how many hugs they perform per hour or how many they send to college. Ours will be defined by how many neighbors are to move because of your uncontrollable screaming sounds. You should be able to make something involving fire, a and meat vegetables. Or you should be willing to pick up a cookbook and figure something out. If you can't cook, you must give the most amazing blowjobs that I forget to ask. But I will probably not forget to ask because eating food that a girl cooked for me actually makes me happy. I would like to get a camera, desperate women Edibrim a cooking camera, desperate women Edibrim and just take pictures of the finished dishes and make a about all the things you cooked for me. That would be hot. And I would label each meal like, "Gyros. Made on Saturday with cute little cucumber dressing. Gives me a hardon." It would be preferred but not required if you had some kind of major vice like... you are an or you used to be a seal hunter or you kittens or you were a skanky stripper. If you are too perfect, we probably won't get along because I don't like people that have intact family lives or lack of personal tragedies. Whenever people ask if I'm close to my family, looking for my first experience with a lady Hermann lookn 4 a top in the area I want to punch them in the cunt. It would be cute if your family abandoned you in a refrigerator box or tried to drown you with some puppies by throwing you in a burlap sack and tossing you into the river but somehow you escaped and swam to California via the Mississippi River (Wait do they even connect? Nobody asked your opinion. I was thinking out loud.) Oh and you can't have cats or dogs because I already have a dog and usually girls buy dogs that are too big because they feel unprotected. You have x options here.. well x actually: x ) You can be pet free and fall in love with mine instead to make up for the pet shortage. They are small but together they act like a big dog like Voltron when you put all the parts together you get xxx big motherfucker protector dog. x ) I can run over your dog and pretend it was an accident, or I can take it down to an animal shelter and tell them it has rabies, so they'll put it to sleep. Then I can fuck you on the couch to comfort you in your time of loss. x ) You can fuck the fuck off and not fucking bother me with how many times your cat meowed today you fucking crazy cat bitch. Oh and if you wear a lot of makeup, I will bring a fire hose when I see you, so I can wash it off. Clown makeup pisses me off. Most girls don't know that they already look great just by their natural beauty. You should be insecure enough to want to wear it because everyone makes you feel ugly. But willing enough to let me be your security blanket and make you feel beautiful. Oh yeah xxx last important thing. I'm not looking for a girl with high self-esteem. In the guy world, we like to refer to girls like this as: "CUNTS," "BITCHES," "FUCKING STUPID CUNTS," or "STUPID CRACKWHORE BITCHES." I want you to be vulnerable enough that you feel like you need me and want to depend on me because I can do more things than you can. Yes I will be smarter and stronger than you. But I will also depend on you and need you because you are the person that makes me happy. If you don't get that, you're a feminazi bitch and you can fuck off and die a slow death. Also you should wear cute socks because I like it when girls wear cute socks. ======================= Hot chicks seeking private swingers Tweet

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Looking for good conversation tonight. About as "normal" as xxx could get... Hello! I am a but not against it either, Oceanside couple fuck so if that's your bag, no problem. I have definitely partaken a few times in the past. (I just didn't like coughing so much! lol). FYI this isn't all just about sex either. I love to cuddle, teens slut chat room Hortolandia adult chat hold each other, have intelligent or even useless conversations, give/receive oral (especially give) and so forth. I am also generally very respectful of women and their level of comfort in these situations. So rest assured you will never be put into a position that backs you against the wall. I don't want to write a book here but I also didn't want to throw out a single misspelled sentence lacking in grammar and feeling. Honestly I don't even know how posts like that get answered! As for you, it's really all about chemistry but generally I prefer girls with shoulder length or longer hair and a face that is easy on the eyes. I don't care about breast size. As for body type, chubby is fine, skinny is fine, but just don't be xxx extreme or the other. i.e. anorexic or enormous. You know what I mean. Also, freckles in any form are a big plus, but certainly not a necessity. Just overall please be clean and disease free, obviously, and not a psycho. Perfume is a plus. If you'd like to know more about me please inquire. I do have pictures of myself and they are not just of parts of my body. I have normal, regular, everyday pics of what I actually look like so no worries. I expect the same, respectfully. And we'll take it from there! Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you soon! P.S. PLEASE I beg you....NO scammers, spammers, prostitutes, B.S. websites or links to scam sites! I'd really appreciate it...just be a real person. :-) Fuck you hard right now 21 Middlebore 21. Hot and horny women wanting married looking for affair Tweet