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Never MarriedJune
Morris, 19090
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Needing me a Womanhaha. Go to your home, ball! This is a satirical recounting of my days events. Satire is the important part - it hopefully sells that I'm more about self-deprecation than I am about hopelessly tracking someone down. If that happens, great! It not, I hope whoever reads this has a chuckle. You helped get me into contacts for the first time ever. I thought to myself when you walked in, "My, she's quite pretty!" We began small talking - (My, she's got a great sense of humor and a lovely smile and voice) Then things changed, and you started sticking your fingers in my eyeballs. Somehow, this did not kill the momentum of the conversation. You also dyed the room yellow, which I thought was a cool trick. While you shined a blue laser beam at my face, we talked about how they used to shoot air at the eye, and that this had made you pee your pants at age x . Someone, conversation was still un-ruined You warmed me about the numbing eyedrops after I joked that I was gonna steal things when you left me alone - turns out they can melt some parts of your eye... probably not the best choice. I took tissues instead, in case the tiny contacts made me cry manly tears in front of you or anyone else. None of this ruined the conversation. Rooms were changed. IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO SHINE (and over-think *everything* that was happening) You hold my hands and move everything into the right position... I'm ready to stick this lens all up in my eyeball. Then you started quoting Happy Gilmore when his putt doesn't make it to the cup. "Are you too good for your HOME?" Then I fail because I'm too busy trying not to laugh while thinking about how the rest of it goes. But after that, I improve and get them in my eyes. Of course, as soon as the second lens settles in, I realize you have to get another patient. Man, I didn't think that through... I should have magiy sucked at putting them in, even though it was a lot easier that I'd feared it would be. Ah, but wait! I have glasses lenses that need to be cut, so I will be in the waiting room. And she'll have to walk by over again over again... and I'm gonna look suuuuper creepy just sitting there and probably worse if I actually strat trying to catch glances or give fleeting smiles. Plus, all this blinking with the lenses probably makes me look slightly out of touch, xxx 90099 sex like I'm responding to voices that aren't there. So, that's a problem. Crap. The point to this, which I'm sure you'll never read, is that I should have asked you out during what I perceived to be actual flirting. When you came out to give me something I'd forgotten, I bet that was my cue. I'd even hidden a pen and paper in my pocket so I could be all confident and presumptuous and say something like, "Ey gurl, I can hadda number?" Aceept I would never say it that way. Instead, I was a bit tongue-tied - mostly because I was seeing the world without glasses clearly for the first time in x years, India adult chat Morgantown dating Morgantown and partly (this is where it gets either creepy or sweet, and I'm going for sweet)... partly because you, the sweet, funny, seemingly down to earth, and ridiculous pretty woman who gave me a hand, dealt with questions. and seemed to enjoy my company and all my lame jokes are a part of it - a part that shuts down my ability to be confident at xxx key moment! So instead of opening my pocket or handing you a pen, I'm going to marvel at how spectacularly wussy I am and hope that if you *ever* happen to read this or see me again - I'll have another shot. And now the internet can get its hands on this - which will make it eveeen worse. But at least I've made myself accountable for my lack of action. Maybe next time, no matter with whom, I won't fail so spectacularly. (It's probably all the over thinking, you stupid idiot) Sex mature searching free amateur sex |
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Ameagle, 42299
Ladies do u need some oral pleasure. This would be a second try for someone who would like to date and see what happens.! We all know that first dates are like interviews and finding someone in a bar, yeahhhhh right.!! How hard is it for someone to understand that a mutual attraction has to be there, omg, we both have to have it, or its like going out with someone just for the meal.!! I am easy on the eyes, sarcastic, ornery, challenging, granny dating Naperville free fuck in Kilve ny and will show any man how he should have been treated.! I am x years divorced and havent found anyone that is not afraid to take a chance when they see her.!! You want a woman that has her own life, thats me, you want a woman who dont mind getting dirty , me, how bout xxx that works, pays bills, takes care of herself and the kid.,, again,, me.!! I take care of myself, and hope that who answers this add does the same,, not looking for a guy who sits around and drinks all the time who has found out he now has ''dunlop'' disease.!! I am not asking for you to be ken, but I sure as hell dont want an al bundy either.!! Just would like to find xxx guy who isnt afraid of hismature females for sex in Folsomville Indiana feelings, Sex dating in Shingle springs that doesnt mind scary movies, and that has some country values,, like opening a door,, buying a flower,(no roses), calling or texting to say ''good morning beautiful'.!! Maybe even a guy willing to try things, like dancing, sledding, going out in the cold and having a snowball fight.!! Geesh we arent that old yet.!! If you are married, with a girlfriend, or just looking for a booty call,, PLZ DONT BOTHER.!! I am good as finding things out pretty quick and you would find out real quick the biotch side of me.!! |