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Needing me a Womanhaha. Go to your home, ball! This is a satirical recounting of my days events. Satire is the important part - it hopefully sells that I'm more about self-deprecation than I am about hopelessly tracking someone down. If that happens, great! It not, I hope whoever reads this has a chuckle. You helped get me into contacts for the first time ever. I thought to myself when you walked in, "My, she's quite pretty!" We began small talking - (My, she's got a great sense of humor and a lovely smile and voice) Then things changed, and you started sticking your fingers in my eyeballs. Somehow, this did not kill the momentum of the conversation. You also dyed the room yellow, which I thought was a cool trick. While you shined a blue laser beam at my face, we talked about how they used to shoot air at the eye, and that this had made you pee your pants at age x . Someone, conversation was still un-ruined You warmed me about the numbing eyedrops after I joked that I was gonna steal things when you left me alone - turns out they can melt some parts of your eye... probably not the best choice. I took tissues instead, in case the tiny contacts made me cry manly tears in front of you or anyone else. None of this ruined the conversation. Rooms were changed. IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO SHINE (and over-think *everything* that was happening) You hold my hands and move everything into the right position... I'm ready to stick this lens all up in my eyeball. Then you started quoting Happy Gilmore when his putt doesn't make it to the cup. "Are you too good for your HOME?" Then I fail because I'm too busy trying not to laugh while thinking about how the rest of it goes. But after that, I improve and get them in my eyes. Of course, as soon as the second lens settles in, I realize you have to get another patient. Man, I didn't think that through... I should have magiy sucked at putting them in, even though it was a lot easier that I'd feared it would be. Ah, but wait! I have glasses lenses that need to be cut, so I will be in the waiting room. And she'll have to walk by over again over again... and I'm gonna look suuuuper creepy just sitting there and probably worse if I actually strat trying to catch glances or give fleeting smiles. Plus, all this blinking with the lenses probably makes me look slightly out of touch, xxx 90099 sex like I'm responding to voices that aren't there. So, that's a problem. Crap. The point to this, which I'm sure you'll never read, is that I should have asked you out during what I perceived to be actual flirting. When you came out to give me something I'd forgotten, I bet that was my cue. I'd even hidden a pen and paper in my pocket so I could be all confident and presumptuous and say something like, "Ey gurl, I can hadda number?" Aceept I would never say it that way. Instead, I was a bit tongue-tied - mostly because I was seeing the world without glasses clearly for the first time in x years, India adult chat Morgantown dating Morgantown and partly (this is where it gets either creepy or sweet, and I'm going for sweet)... partly because you, the sweet, funny, seemingly down to earth, and ridiculous pretty woman who gave me a hand, dealt with questions. and seemed to enjoy my company and all my lame jokes are a part of it - a part that shuts down my ability to be confident at xxx key moment! So instead of opening my pocket or handing you a pen, I'm going to marvel at how spectacularly wussy I am and hope that if you *ever* happen to read this or see me again - I'll have another shot. And now the internet can get its hands on this - which will make it eveeen worse. But at least I've made myself accountable for my lack of action. Maybe next time, no matter with whom, I won't fail so spectacularly. (It's probably all the over thinking, you stupid idiot) Sex mature searching free amateur sex Tweet