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Real life me looks immediately to my large blue bag, sitting in the well between the seats and the door and largely obscured, which I now remember contains cooked chickens that I somewhat begrudgingly picked up at Whole Foods (at my sister's request, I assure you--I wouldn't ordinarily be caught there) about an hour ago. I'm on the way to my sister's birthday dinner, and the expected head count is x . Chicken smells delicious, but only in context. Now that you mention it, it actually does smell kind of bad. I manage to sputter: "A-a-actually the smell is me. My chickens, that is. The ones in this bag," [gestures to bag]. "I have chickens in this bag". I am unable to properly convey to you that in fact they're cooked, and in my panic I leave it at that. You take this opportunity to quite literally suggest that I am going to use the chickens as part of a satanic ritual of some sort. You assure me that you want to have no part in said ritual. My brain the manager, Horny women in port arthour texas Plymouth ma horny women ever the character-focused business man, thinks highly of your sense of humor and even goes as far as to draft a letter offering you an interview for a position at the restaurant as assistant grease specialist. But even the best laid managerial plans can be foiled by incompetent underlings. The awkwardness of our recent interchange does nothing to quell my body's rising panic at having started a fire that will now surely consume the building. My crawl to the exit coincides with your moving aside to let me pass to the door, as your conscientious line of questioning earlier indicated you would. You're smiling at me, but I'm thinking of how best to avoid a hefty fine from a large, faceless corporation. Right after I get up, you wish me luck with my "bag of chickens, whatever you're going to do with it", and if the bus had stopped right then it would have been great timing. But the bus continues for still another block, both of us having underestimated the length between the stops. I stand, holding my over-large bag of chickens at my side, framed by the muni door, as the bus continues for an additional x seconds. And right then it hits me: you're just as awkward as I am! The question about when my stop was, the discussion of smells, the suggestion of satanic affinities, and the too-early wish to have a good night, all speak to an endearing wish for deeper-than-usual social contact and a preference for books over parties. I am relieved to realize this just as my metaphorical fast food worker -ego has hit on his own solution to his impending financial woes: to steal the company's grease and sell it to the highest bidder. As I finally exit the bus, the burning building, and our bench, I feel a tinge of regret that I haven't asked you to be my partner in , or at very least to talk about weird shit with me while we drink some tea together. And so I turn to . Let me know what stop I got off at and we can out the purest grease in San Francisco together.
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